It may be hard to know what to do or say when your friend or family member shares such heart-breaking news with you.
But here are some ways you can show your support:
• Remember, acknowledge and offer support on significant dates.
• Offer to help with memory-making or commemorating activities.
• Send a message letting them know you are thinking of them.
• Use their baby’s name in conversation if they have named the baby.
• Don’t refer to their loss euphemistically, acknowledge that they were expecting a baby who died.
Positive Examples of Support
Some of the most positive experiences of support shared by our members are simple gestures from friends and family.
“I couldn’t face seeing anyone while I was pregnant and waiting for the baby to die. I hid out at home. My friend text me to say she had left a bag of my favourite foods on the doorstep and driven away so I wouldn’t have to talk to her”.
“It was that weird time between the delivery and the funeral, my three best friends arrived at the door with bags of groceries for us and the kids. Having one less thing to have to worry about, and not having to face a supermarket was the most thoughtful thing”.
“We knew our 8-year-old was feeling the strain of the atmosphere at home. Try as we might we were too tired and too sad to keep things normal for her. Her best friend’s mother offered to take her for a day out and a sleepover. She got to get out and be normal for a day; play with her friend and eat popcorn and chocolate and laugh her head off. Knowing she was happy and getting a dose of normality was a huge relief for us, and we had a good cry and a decent night’s sleep without feeling guilty”.
“My brother isn’t great at emotional conversations, but he’s a great cook. He cooked up a week’s worth of lovely dinners, and his girlfriend baked us amazing desserts. They arrived up and stocked the fridge, and we had a proper dinner for the first night in ages. It was so kind and took so much effort, it showed how much they wanted to help us.”
You can contact LMC on our helpline 086 374 5474 or by email at firstname.lastname@example.org