Myself and my husband were trying awhile to have our 3rd baby. We found out at Christmas time I was pregnant and were both thrilled as was our 8 year old and 5 year old boys.
At my 13 week scan the sonographer recognised there was some fluid around the baby’s head and asked me to call my husband, this is when I knew there was something badly wrong.
My husband arrived and we were sent to see the consultant. After an hour we went into the consultant room for a more detailed scan there we were told that the baby had a cystic hygroma and very likely to have a chromosome abnormality.
We were told that are baby would either die in the uterus or die straight after birth but more likely I would miscarry before 20 weeks. We were told that baby would not live and that there was no hope. The consultant was amazing, compassionate, supportive and sympathic.
I was offered a CVS procedure (which they can tell what the syndrome the baby has) which I excepted and we would have the results in 3 days.
I turned to the consultant expecting her to offer us an induced miscarriage or termination and I said so what now?
Her response was let nature do its course or you can go to Liverpool Womens Hospital to have a termination1 to say we were shocked was understatement firstly to be told your baby has no chance then only to add to the pain that we would have to travel to Liverpool for help. We were devastated and so so angry that we could not receive the treatment we needed here in Ireland.
We waited for the results but I knew in my heart there was no hope. We received the results and the baby had trisomy 13 (pataus syndrome) which is a cruel horrific syndrome not deemed compatible with life. This was the most devastating news we could of recieved.
So we made the descion to travel to women’s hospital Liverpool. The maternity Hospital gave us all the information we needed so myself and my mother made all the arrangements which was a heart breaking task and also having to leave our two boys behind and arrange for someone to take of them. My parents, husband and myself arrived on the Sunday evening and Monday morning I was brought in to have the termination.
The staff were very kind and tried to make the procedure less traumatic for us. I was put under GA and it took 10 minutes. I left the hospital 3 hours later and we arrived back in Dublin heartbroken Monday night.
I can face the fact that this baby was never going to make it but I will never get over the fact that we had to leave the love and support of our family friends and the staff from the maternity hospital.
It was all very traumatic and extremely cruel to be sent to another country for the termination also the fact that it all costed 2800 euro.
We were lucky to have acess to the money as I know a lot wouldn’t. I wont ever forget the very much longed for baby that we lost which we named Skye and I plan to bury the scan photos with my granddad. But I will hold on to the anger of having to travel to another country to receive the help and treatment that we needed so badly at a horrible time in our lives.
I really hope the law changes here in Ireland and no other women or couple ever has to go through what we did.