About LMC

SINCE 2012

Supporting and Respecting a Woman’s Choice to End a Much-Longed For Pregnancy Following a Poor Diagnosis

WELCOME TO LEANBH MO CHROI

Leanbh Mo Chroi means ‘Child of My Heart’ in Irish. We originally chose this name because we felt it captured the depth of a loss of a much-wanted pregnancy following a poor diagnosis; the feeling of wanting to keep them in our hearts and cherish the memories we did have.

We have since decided to abbreviate the name to LMC. The reasons are two-fold: Firstly, a lot of people found it difficult to pronounce the name!  Secondly, we wanted to reflect the much-needed choice that a woman should have when faced with such heartbreaking news. So, LMC now also stands for Let Me Choose.

Early members all had the shared experience of having to travel for a termination following a poor diagnosis. However, we realised that the most important factor in offering support to you is not about what decision we arrived at.  The most important factor is recognising your need for a truly safe space to explore your own feelings, where you can arrive at your own decision on whether or not to continue the pregnancy.

This is the most heart-breaking of decision-making processes, which takes place alongside the beginnings of the grieving process. We believe that this process must be supported in a compassionate non-directive way. Having lived through this experience ourselves, we quickly discovered that there were no specific support groups for people like us in Ireland. We found that our feelings of loss were compounded by feelings of isolation during this time.

Many of us in the group have taken the difficult decision to end our pregnancy, but we wish to make it clear that of foremost importance to us is that that choice rests with the woman herself.

We feel it is absolutely vital that she feels supported at all times in a manner that is respectful of that fact.

Deciding whether or not to end a much-wanted pregnancy is an incredibly difficult decision. Every situation is unique to that individual, their circumstances and individual diagnosis.

 

We discovered that one of the most difficult aspects – aside from the legal barriers to treatment women encountered – was the emotional barrier which can often suspend the ‘normal’ grieving process.

A small group of us happened to find each other on a pregnancy forum. We communicated there and eventually decided to meet up. At that first meeting we sat together, talked, laughed and cried for hours. We found the support we gained from one another proved to be a lifeline.

There was an enormous relief at being able to talk openly about our experiences with people who had been there themselves and understood the complexities of the despair we all felt.

Our individual circumstances varied, but we all had one thing in common; we understood the importance of finding a safe space to work through our grief that had so many layers and aspects.

This is made far more complicated by what can be a lack of support and understanding in both the healthcare setting and society as a whole.

We often found we had to hide our ‘real stories’ telling friends and family a simplified version of events because the exposure in telling our ‘whole story’ was just too painful.

Support services

How We Help

speak to us

For a listening ear, practical advice and emotional support,
talk to our volunteers who
have all faced a similar loss.

 

email us

The support we offer is based on the  shared experience of our volunteers. We know how lonely it can be.

support groups

We offer informal support groups in Cork and Dublin as a safe space to discuss the loss of a much-wanted baby.

Online Meet-Ups

If you can’t get to Cork and Dublin join an online LMC meeting for a similar supportive
group experience.

Testimonials

There is great support in knowing there are so many more out there who have walked in your shoes. Hearing stories like yours is so helpful; I felt such acceptance and honesty.

Anonymous

Realising that other parents had been through what I was going through and had survived, healed and were able to live full happy lives, gave me hope in the early days that there was light at the end of the tunnel. There was so much advice and solidarity; it was a life saver. There is always someone to lean on and a new person to help and support.

Claire

The best thing about contacting LMC for me was in feeling supported, with no sense of judgement and not feeling alone; that I had somewhere to go. Reading other stories helped , as well as the links to resources.

Tracey

Support Us

Make a Donation

Your donation will help us to continue to support women and their partners through this most difficult of losses. We provide support group meetings in Dublin and Cork and also offer a telephone and email support service. We will soon be offering online meetings to make it easier for those outside of the Dublin area to access group support. Individual support is always available as well. All our members are volunteers, we have no paid staff. 100% of your donation goes to the running of the service.